Make a list of all those moments in which you have diverted from your choice (the moments when you have ‘snapped’, when you got angry, desperate or when you thought you were not good enough)…
In order to more easily and efficiently track and remind yourself of these moments, you should equip yourself with a recording device (it can be the one on your phone as well) and then analyze them just as they occurred. Make a plan for the few upcoming days. Put more emphasis on those moments in which you know you really messed up and think of how you can improve that next time around. Changing your overall parallel reality by changing the individual moments is exactly the purpose of this exercise. Don’t do those things to the others that you don’t wish happening to yourself. Your parallel reality is a mirror reflection of yourselves – if what you wish is kindness, treat your entire parallel reality with some; if you wish love – spread some around; if what you wish is understanding and cooperation – begin to look for all the possible alternatives to get along with the others. Once you have your plan sorted, you must remember that no one else can execute it for yourself. This is your job. Wishful thinking alone will not do the trick. You have to put your desires into practical action. Receiving kindness and love when you are being angry and nervous is just as impossible as changing the world by merely relying on your visionary ideas about its beauty (about your love towards Everything that Is).
It takes practice and not a prayer.
Enter into meditation when you are ready with your plan, in order to receive your answers regarding it.