The big problem with the phrase ‘’I don’t have the time’’ has to do with the fact that most people don’t know how to utilize their free time. And if they do – they lack the physical, emotional and mental capacity to put their ideas into practice. Yet, the amount of b******t we occupy ourselves with instead is quite remarkable (albeit the filtration that we sustain for ourselves convince us into thinking that these things are of extreme importance to us). Moreover, in this way we manage to make ourselves feel important, serious and busy, all while what we really do is avoiding the responsibility coming with ‘’free time’’. Instead, we sidestep this responsibility by reinforcing the collective inaction set in the egregore with pursuits such as buying a house, paying back our credit, travelling a bit, quitting our job, having a vacay, maintaining our physical appearance etc.
Look, if you are really convinced in your good reasons for doing any of these activities – that’s fine. Everyone has the right to be right. But if you are doing it just because they are somehow trendy, and are being ‘’the norm’’, and ‘‘everyone’s doing it anyway’’, you should stop and think for a second. Who and what this certain thing or activity is actually good for? The true utilization of free times means to do something that will be of use to all of us – not just for your family, wife and kids, but for everything and everyone. We think in global terms here – do you contribute to Everything that Is in your free time?
‘’Constructive productivity’’ means to fill your free time with something that you truly wish to Create. Something that brings you a sense of purpose and satisfaction; Something that you have been delaying for ages. If there is no such thing, constructive free time for you would be learning how to materialize change inside your environment and parallel reality. And once you learn the principles for materializing change, you can proceed with practically applying them.
But is there any point to all of this? This can only be a matter of individual Choice…
Just go ahead and do something. Anything is better than doing nothing. The worst that can happen is that you will learn and change something…
Question: How we are supposed to free up any time for doing any of that?
Answer: By cutting all the complaints, critiques and gossips.
According to statistics, a man increases the amount of his free time with 30 to 40% when he starts paying more attention to the quality and substance of his/her conversations.
Exercise: Let’s reflect upon all the conversations that we are having. Let’s discuss with ourselves in advance what do we have to say, why are we saying it and how would it improve the conversation and the environment alike. This means that any form of complaining, critique or gossip goes straight out of the window. In the next 24 hours, you can track yourself and record how often do you initiate a conversation (either with another person or in your head) that is some kind of complaint, critique or gossip. If you ‘’catch’’ yourself doing that, simply cease your participation into the conversation (or change the topic inside your head).
Complaining, critiquing and gossiping generate mental impulses, which ‘trigger’ the so-called amygdala. In turn, this part of our brains is responsible for the activation of all the negative emotions such as fear, insecurity and so on. As a consequence, we set up and reaffirm the corresponding frequency portal with the egregore.
The act of complaining has contributed to solving 0 problems in total. Complaining is nothing but energy that has been wasted on self-pitying. When we use our energy in such direction, we close our filters off and we isolate ourselves from the environment. When we complain, we create a parallel reality in which everything gives us reasons for more complaints. It is a vicious cycle indeed. The corresponding frequency portal with the egregore becomes ever wider and bigger, which makes us more negative, pessimistic and it cuts a significant portion of our self-esteem. The dumbest thing is when we have reached a point in which we start a conversation with a complaint, because we think that this is a tested and certain way to ‘break the ice’.
Now let’s talk about ‘critique’. In general terms, ‘critique’ is not a bad thing. It comes from the Greek κριτική and it means ‘’to reason’’, ‘’to reflect upon’’. Critique is the art of finding contradictions or mistakes in the process of analyzing something. It enables one to check the validity of something. Critique is a form of feedback based on one’s point of view.
However, on the day-to-day basis, we really abuse the meaning of this word in practice. We tend to critique the others, in order to feel superior to them. We use it as a means of passive-aggressively establishing moral domination over the others. And it turns into a habit when we apply it often enough in this way. Moreover, beneath the act of critiquing the others lays our own apprehensions and fears for our own inadequacy, our own low self-esteem, our perverted perfectionism and our lack of empathy.
Exercise: In order to not deceive ourselves that we are ‘’doing critique right’’, it is best to simply replace it with silence for some time – or – we can replace it with reasoning in third person regarding certain problematic topic. That is, our reasoning and reflections upon a given problematic topic/state/action should only be based on personal practical experience (if you have done the given thing before – go ahead and share your experience; if you haven’t – you better don’t talk, you won’t contribute much to the conversation).
According to Cambridge English Dictionary, gossips are conversations or reports about other people’s private lives that might be unkind, disapproving, or not true. On a deeper level, through the act of gossiping we are expressing our own desire for change, which however we are unwilling to initiate. In other words, gossiping is a created filtration that brings the pleasure of ‘’illusory superiority’’, which however brings nothing real to the table. It is literally a form of emotional masturbation – it is something that we replace our individual virtual actions with, while at the same time it quenches our emotional thirst as if we have actually done something. In short, we are living through someone else. We would rather just stay there and discuss what the others did. We would rather ‘’learn from their mistakes’’ to not do anything in the way they did. As a result of the gossip filtration, we sustain the illusion of being capable of something that we never ever undertake or even intend to do so…
Exercise: Replace gossiping with some interesting information about the world – one that has to do with change, development and improvement of our environment and parallel reality alike. You don’t have to create a blueprint about saving the world in the 5 minutes of chat you will be having with the cashier. You can just bring up something that brought you joy in the past – you can talk about music, history, technology. Anything but who has Betty dated last night.
Tested in practice: According to the priest Will Bowen, if a man abstains from complaining, criticizing and gossiping for 21 days straight, his/her life changes for the better. He creates his purple wrist band saying ‘’A world with no complaints’’ and everyone who puts it on accepts the challenge of not complaining, criticizing or gossiping for 21 days in a row. If someone who accepted the challenge did any of the above three, one has to put the wrist band to his/her other hand and start all anew! And the challenge goes on, until one does not actually complete it.
And the underlying mechanism which makes this exercise efficient is the so-called dendritogenesis* – it is the brain’s ability to re-arrange neurons by redirecting them from one target of focus to another, thus changing the overall focus of the impulse. In this way, the filtrations through which the man is seeing and perceiving the world are also being changed.
You can use a simple rubber band and try this exercise out. Just put it on and observe how your life is changing. If you catch yourself in uttering or tolerating complaints, critiques or gossips, you know the rules – you have to start the 21 days all over again. Anyone brave enough to take on this challenge shall have very interesting 21 days ahead…
(*Dendritogenesis – the brain’s ability to alter the synaptic connections to a given filtration)
”The brain is made up of tiny nerve cells called “neurons”. These neurons have tiny branches that reach out and connect to other neurons to form a neural net. Each place where they connect is incubated into a thought or a memory. Now, the brain builds up all its concepts by the law of associative memory. For example, ideas, thoughts and feelings…are all constructed and interconnected in this neural net and all have a possible relationship with one another.”
-What the bleep do we know (2004)
When we send an electrochemical impulse down the neural network, there are electrical sparks ‘’bouncing’’’ between some of the ramifications and the neural ‘’highway’’. Let’s accept that there are two such ‘’highways’’ – one for positive and one for negative thoughts. This distinction is only conditional, since the brain is not making any difference between the two impulses (it is us making the difference). When a negative though occurs, the ramification goes towards the according ‘’highway’’. When we are frequently sending impulses in the direction of this highway, this leads to an increasingly intense interaction between them. There comes a point in which it is better for the ramification to merge or altogether inosculate with this highway, in order for friction to be reduced. As a result, addiction to a given behavior, expressions and overall way of thinking is being developed. What shall happen, if it is necessary to divert from the familiar trajectory and we must give a different answer about something? The ramification will ‘’try’’ to break apart from the negative ‘’highway’’ and to send an impulse towards the positive one instead. However, since it has already merged with the first one, this excludes the possibility for a straightforward shifting of direction towards the second one (the positive one). Nevertheless, once the impulse has been set and programmed to reach the given positive area, the impulse takes the only path available and after a number of zig-zagging movements around the network, it eventually reaches the positive sector. In practice, the result is that the response to some question (e.g. How is life?) generally requiring an affirmative answer comes out the following instead: ‘’Yeah, kinda okay. ’I’m doing okay’’, ‘’Same old’’ etc. And affirmative answers such as ‘’Oh yeah, it’s great!’’ or ‘’It’s wonderful!’’ are nowhere to be found. Having got used to the negative messages once, we can’t even tell how they are becoming part of our identity and we remain oblivious to the examples that we give to our children. You might don’t to agree but just think about how often we answer the simple question of ‘’How are you?’’ with the default ‘’Yeah, I’m okay’’ – an answer uttered with descending gradation that only lowers our confidence and self-esteem.
We build up models of how we see the world outside of us. And the more information that we have, the more we refine our model one way or another. And what we ultimately do is tell ourselves a story about what the outside world is. Any information that we process, any information that we take in from the environment is always colored by the experiences that we’ve had and an emotional response that we’re having to what we’re bringing in. Who is in the driver’s seat when we control our emotions or we respond to our emotions? We know physiologically that nerve cells that fire together wire together. If you practice something over and over, those nerve cells have a long-term relationship. If you get angry on a daily basis, if you get frustrated on a daily basis if you suffer on a daily basis…if you give reason for the victimization in your life…you’re rewiring and reintegrating that neural net on a daily basis and that neural net now has a long-term relationship with all those other nerve cells called an “identity”.
– What the bleep do we know (2004)