Exercises: Attached Meaning

Do you take offence? How do you interpret the insults coming your way? Do you assume that the unpleasant things intended at you might be true, or are you too busy defending yourself by all means necessary? Have you applied the analythesis technique to your own behavior, in order to see how paradoxical you are? In order to make the most of any conversation, listen to what the others have to say by letting go of any back thoughts and apprehensions of whether the person who is talking to you is trying to criticize, blame, flatter, manipulate or cheat you. Don’t fall for pondering whether you like what you hear or not. Simply embrace the role of pure listener, who might as well derive something useful out of the uttered information. Even words and phrases that you generally find unpleasant might turn out to be of use to you…That’s why you must be all ears when listening to the others. You must employ your full concentration, in order to catch exactly what you need – just like a wild animal prowling on its prey.  You may even imagine that the wisest person on the planet is talking to you, and behind his accusations and insults, there is actually a message concerning the salvation of the entire mankind. Therefore, you need to dedicate all of your attention and concentration to what is being said to you. Pay the proper attention to each and every word, so you might be asking the right questions afterwards.

In order to make things easier on yourself, you can start having fun with the names – the so-called insults – by which the others are calling you. For example, if they call you a moron, that’s probably because you have more going on.

Exercise 1:

Arrange a meeting with your closest friends – the ones that you have complete trust in. Make sure that everyone knows in advance what the purpose of this meeting is going to be – nurturing honesty, fairness and of course – responsibility. Each participant will have to list all the negative qualities that he/she sees in the others through all one’s honesty, fairness and responsibility! In order to determine who is going to be “examined” first, you can write your names on tiny bits of paper and then randomly select one. The one whose name is drawn first must listen to what the others have to say about him/her. Afterwards, there comes the turn to the second in line, and so on. Take notes of the things you hear, and then put them through analythesis. Remember, these are you best friends who you are surrounded by – they are telling you the truth because they wish to help you. A mistake is a failure only when it hasn’t been corrected…The corrected mistake is another step to success…

Exercise 2:

Do you trust yourself enough? Would you put yourself through analythesis? Are you being honest with yourself? Are the others making remarks about those aspects in your behavior that come to your own attention as well? Do you take on the personal responsibility for correcting things? Do you correct yourself only on paper or are you being the vigilant observer who watches over oneself for giving honest answers at all times? Do you hear truths about yourself that are hard to swallow when the others “embarrass you in front of everybody”? Do you manage to accept these truths after all, or do you look for arguments and excuses to refute them? Are you afraid of making mistakes? Wouldn’t it actually make more sense to accept and appreciate your mistakes for they are telling you what to change within yourself? Do you perceive your mistakes as failures, or do you perceive them as friends who are helping you to be happier? Do you share your mistakes with the others or do you shove them under the carpet? Does that make you honest?

Exercise 3

Do you take offence? How do you interpret the insults coming your way? Do you assume that the unpleasant things intended at you might be true, or are you too busy defending yourself by all means necessary? Have you applied the analythesis technique to your own behavior, in order to see how paradoxical you are? Why don’t you accept the insults coming your way as truthful statements, and then prove to everyone that you can correct things by practical actions?  What do you feel most insulted by – is it the tone, or the irony, or the sharp tongue, or maybe the arrogance? Has it occurred to you that perhaps you possess all of the traits that you find insulting? Can you change them? Do you notice that you feel quite alright with telling the others the truth, but you are being in denial when you are on the receiving end? What is it with that double standard? Shouldn’t your attitude towards the others be reflecting the others’ attitude towards you?

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